Marianne Brandon Ph.D.
The Future of Intimacy
SEX
Artificial sex partners expect nothing of us. Will this promote narcissism?
KEY POINTS
- Intimate relationships invite us to grow emotionally and motivate us to develop valuable life skills.
- Intimate relationships are worth the effort because they meet critical needs like companionship and sex.
- AI sex partners, like chatbots and avatars, can meet our needs minus the growth demands of a human partner.
- Only time will tell how this reduction in self-growth opportunity will affect our level of narcissism.
Perhaps one of the guarantees of adulthood is that intimate relationships can be challenging. As awesome as love, passion, companionship, and connection can feel, it just as certainly generates some of the more painful moments of life. Nonetheless, despite these inherent struggles, research consistently suggests that intimate relationships protect us from a wide variety of serious ailments – from loneliness to depression to medical illness. Research consistently agrees: Human connection is good for us. Further, our hope and longing for intimacy motivates us to become better people – to work harder, obtain an education, exercise, and other goals – things that increase our value as partners in the eyes of others.
Source: Maxuser/Shutterstock
In addition, modern sex toys, developed for all types of genitals, can create more stimulation than most human partners can provide. Images created in all formats can be generated to a level of physical perfection that humans are unlikely to achieve – even with unlimited plastic surgery. Virtual sex partners offer far more creative sexual options than the typical human partner is willing or capable of enacting. Furthermore, while most of us prefer a human partner to the artificial variety, there are unavoidable downsides to human lovers that are not a concern among the AI variety. For example, humans can be grumpy, make hurtful comments, and say “no” to sex. Humans care if you didn’t brush your teeth, and may be unwilling to talk you through your favorite sexual fantasy – let alone enact it with you. None of these issues will interfere with an AI lover’s sexual performance or enthusiasm. As a result, it seems likely to me that just like human lovers, in many ways virtual lovers will be irreplaceable in their own, unique way.
I am thus compelled to wonder how the AI addition to our bedrooms will affect our sense of humanity, and in particular, what appears to be our current cultural tendency toward narcissism. Perhaps shaped by an internet embracing, promoting, and prioritizing personal opinions and feelings at the expense of others, narcissism seems to have become a modern-day buzzword when considering the challenges of intimacy. Since narcissistic romantic partners are more concerned with their own sexual needs than those of their partners, it seems possible that AI partners will only promote this way of relating. Furthermore, researchers have noted that young adults seek sex education from sex tech (Cormier and O’Sullivan 2021). How this combination of human connection on the internet coupled with romantic relationships with AI lovers will unfold, only time will tell. But if our AI lovers no longer motivate us to grow, and our primary place of socialization (the internet) only encourages our self-focus, I do wonder if narcissism is here to stay.
But it doesn’t have to be. Just recognizing these dynamics as they unfold could have a positive impact on our intimate relationships. Our self-growth as a population will require determination and effort, but these skills are within our reach if we own them as goals and priorities. Together, we can write the story of the future of intimacy. And in doing so, we can conceivably combine all the benefits of technology with the age-old wisdom of humanity. Rather than write a story of the future of humanity as increasing narcissism, let’s write a story of human evolution that enhances our ability to care for each other. We have the skills to create a stronger, more humane future. Now we need the determination.
References
Cormier, L. & O’Sullivan, L. (2021). Satisfying curiosities through “sextech”: Who is accessing non-traditional sexual education?, Computers in Human Behavior, 124, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2021.106921.
Evans, L. Virtual Reality Pornography: a Review of Health-Related Opportunities and Challenges. Curr Sex Health Rep 15, 26–35 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11930-022-00352-9
Mei, Q., Xie, Y., Yuan, W. & Jackson, M. (2024). A turing test of whether AI chatbots are behaviorally similar to humans. PNAS, 121(9), https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2313925121
Nightingale, S. & Farid, H. (2021). AI-synthesized faces are indistinguishable from real faces and more trustworthy, PNAS, 119(8), https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2120481119
Tucciarelli, R., Vehar, N., Chandaria, S. & Tsakiris, M. (2022). On the realness of people who do not exist: The social processing of artificial faces. iScience, 25, 105441, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.isci.2022.105441
