Marianne Brandon Ph.D.
The Future of Intimacy
PERSONAL PERSPECTIVES
Personal Perspective: The next frontier of sex tech will be even more personal.
Source: Image created by ChatGPT
If you don’t follow tech closely, you may not have heard much about agents yet. Unlike the chatbots most people are familiar with, AI agents don’t just respond to questions. They act. You can ask one to call your insurance company and dispute a charge. They can research recipes for the week, order the groceries, have them delivered, and then call you when they’ve arrived. Recently, one was given the task of opening its own retail store in San Francisco. It hired employees, created its own artwork for the walls, and made all the decisions about inventory and pricing. That’s a different kind of technology than anything most of us have encountered before, and the expectation is that within a few years, we’ll all have one.
What happens when we start using AI agents for sex?
Smart sex toys have existed for a while now. But agents change the category. They don’t just vibrate on command. They can observe, remember, and respond.
Picture this: Your agent controls your sex toy while simultaneously monitoring your heart rate and other physiological responses via your smart ring. It learns how to create the kind of climax you prefer. It speaks in the voice you find most sexy, says the things you want to hear, walks you through whatever fantasy you’re in the mood for, adjusts the lighting, and changes the music. And unlike a person, it won’t get tired, distracted, embarrassed, or secretly think your sexual longings are weird.
Some people already feel deeply seen, heard, and cared for by their chatbot. AI agents will only amplify this sense of attunement.
Is this sex? Masturbation? Something we don’t have a word for yet?
Masturbation has always given people a reliable path to orgasm, because people know precisely how to make their own bodies feel good. But this is something different. It’s a personalized, adaptive, endlessly patient, intimate experience that requires nothing from you except showing up. No negotiation, expectations, or risk of rejection. It has perfected the art of giving and takes nothing for itself—except a monthly fee. Which, depending on your dating history, may still seem like a bargain. For people who are lonely, anxious about intimacy, or simply exhausted by the energy human relationships require, that’s going to be a powerful draw.
Will we continue to desire human lovers?
I suspect that the gains from AI agent sex partners may be more obvious than what we could lose. Human intimacy is difficult and frequently painful. And because social media has become a megaphone for humanity’s dark side, human lovers increasingly appear less trustworthy—all while AI progressively exhibits traits that highlight the best of humanity. Humans are looking less trustworthy and kind, while AI is only appearing more considerate, loving, and dependable.
We’re entering territory that deserves serious attention. The same qualities that make these agents so compelling could also, for some people, make human connection feel not worth the effort by comparison.
The future of intimacy remains to be seen
Technology has already transformed how we shop, bank, work, and communicate. The transformation of human sexuality will follow. The future of intimacy is being designed right now, mostly by tech companies, and the choices made in the next few years will reshape human relationships in ways we can’t yet predict. What you and I have thought about as sex may look significantly different in the near future.
What this means for humanity remains to be seen. Sex is something we share with most of the animal kingdom. But intimate relationships, the deep emotional kind, have always been a defining feature of human experience. At least, they were.
