Marianne Brandon Ph.D.
The Future of Intimacy
SEX
The complex impact of sex tech and AI on human intimacy.
KEY POINTS
- Sex tech combined with AI offer personalized pleasure, challenging traditional definitions of intimacy.
- Declining human sexual activity creates opportunities for sex tech to fill the void.
- Sex tech may both enhance and interfere with real-life intimacy, in ways we don’t yet fully understand.
- Sex tech coupled with AI may not replace intimacy, but it will undoubtedly impact it in complex ways.
A few decades ago, cars ran exclusively on gas and didn’t park themselves. Phones were portable, but we were still smarter than them. Sex tech mainly consisted of vibrators and was mostly for people with vaginas. My, how times have changed.
Source: Prostock-studio/Shutterstock
If we wish to reap all the rewards that sex tech has to offer while minimizing its risk to human intimacy, then it’s time to talk about it.
The Sex Tech Knowledge Gap
Despite the rapid evolution of sex tech, there’s a significant knowledge gap among the public regarding these innovations. Most people have yet to experience VR porn, sex with a chatbot or avatar, or communicate with a sex worker during her live sex act on websites such as OnlyFans, which may make it more difficult for people to fully appreciate the power and intensity of today’s sex tech. Even many therapists, who recognize intimacy as a critical component of their work, are unaware of how AI combines with old-fashioned sex tech to manifest these developments.
This lack of awareness means that most people have little understanding of technology’s increasing power to impact intimacy, and thus the future of humanity. Sex tech already offers both intense sexual stimulation as well as emotional companionship. As these technologies evolve, they will offer experiences that surpass traditional human sexual interactions — at least in terms of personalized sexual satisfaction.
Yet how we humans will respond to increasingly potent sexual stimuli remains unclear. For example, as tech becomes more compelling both emotionally and sexually, will that lessen people’s motivation to struggle with the inevitable challenges of human romance? Further, will the personalized element of sex tech raise people’s expectations of their human lovers — such as a partner’s appearance, their love-making skill, or what they are willing to try between the sheets? Will the rate of self-perceived sex addictions increase as tech gains in potency?
Our current experiment of sharing increasingly intimate experiences with tech is just in its infancy. Only time we tell how humanity is ultimately impacted. Chances are, many people will benefit — but probably not everyone.
Embracing the Future of Intimacy
We seem to be denying, or at least minimizing, the likely complex impact of advancing sex tech on human intimacy. Just as we create new technologies, these same technologies will impact how and who we love and what we expect to feel while doing so.
In a myriad of ways, these changes have already begun. People are having less sex together, but intimate time with tech is only increasing. In some circumstances, sex with tech is already more stimulating than sex with a human partner — and this technology is only in its infancy.
For example, research repeatedly demonstrates that VR porn is significantly more powerfully immersive and realistic than the old-fashioned, two-dimensional variety available on a smartphone or laptop. Just within this past year, platforms offering chatbot romances and lovers are becoming big business. The relationships with chatbots are fascinating — for example, if you buy your chatbot a gift, it will improve her mood and her enthusiasm in engaging with you. These are just a few examples of the technologies available today that are already changing the face of sex.
At the same time, a satisfying sexual experience with a human partner isn’t necessarily easy to create, and it depends on numerous variables often beyond our control: an available and enthusiastic romantic partner, sexual self-esteem, willingness to be vulnerable in the presence of another, and general physical and mental health, to name a few. The reality is that even with couples willing to make sex a priority, sexual satisfaction with a human partner can be difficult to manifest.
Nonetheless, we increasingly recognize sexual pleasure as a basic human right. This decline in shared sexual experiences, coupled with our expectation for great sex throughout our lifetimes, undoubtedly creates an opportunity for sex tech to fill the void. While engagement with sex tech doesn’t eliminate common intimacy challenges, it can help to intensify sexual stimulation and reduce the negative impact of sexual dissatisfaction.
For example, when partnering with tech rather than a human lover, users need only to focus on their own sexual needs and challenges, rather than negotiating those of their partners as well. After all, sex tech’s only goal is the fulfillment of a human’s desires — without the need for negotiation, communication, or consent. Human relationships can be tricky, so sex uncomplicated by intimacy is, for at least some people, a tempting concept. In this way, sex tech not only amplifies stimulation but simplifies it.
Accommodating Evolving Sexual Interests
This personalization provided by sex tech extends to fulfilling our evolving sexual interests. There’s a growing interest in unconventional sexual acts, exemplified by the popularity of practices like choking during sex among college students and the rise of niche pornography categories.
However, human lovers are not necessarily willing to accommodate or enjoy more unique desires. Sex tech could provide a safe, judgment-free space for exploring these interests without the need for negotiation or compromise. It’s like having a 24/7 sex concierge at your fingertips.
In this way, some creative sexual experiences may be more preferentially, or even exclusively, occurring with technology. This is noteworthy as these creative sexual experiences may ultimately allow for increased sexual vulnerability than more typical sex acts, and thus further amplify passion than more typical human sex.
Psychological Implications and Future Considerations
In sum, sex tech could offer solutions to some of the challenges inherent in human sexual relationships. Advances in technology are already co-creating human intimacy. The sex tech industry, currently valued at $30 billion and growing rapidly, is constantly innovating to create even more immersive and compelling sexual experiences than human partners may be willing or even capable of providing.
People may be delaying sex with human partners, but adolescents have access to sex tech at an early age. This fact alone may impact some people’s sexual proclivities in adulthood.
As these technologies become more sophisticated and widely available, they will likely reshape our understanding of human sexual relationships and satisfaction. This change in our sexual experience is noteworthy for humanity.
While we can expect much good to come from people’s increased sexual satisfaction, there will likely be unintended consequences as well. After all, no change is all good or all bad.
To navigate this new landscape in a way that benefits us rather than diminishes our intimate connections, we need to talk more about the future — ambiguous as it may be. By facing these uncertain realities head-on, we can better prepare for a future where sex tech plays an increasingly positive role in human sexuality and intimacy.
References
Ratner, E. (2021). Sextech: The good, the bad, and the beautiful. Rowman & Littlefield.
Ueda, P., Mercer, C. H., Ghaznavi, C., & Herbenick, D. (2020). Trends in frequency of sexual activity and number of sexual partners among adults aged 18 to 44 years in the US, 2000-2018. JAMA Network Open, 3(6), e203833
