Marianne Brandon Ph.D.
The Future of Intimacy
ADOLESCENCE
Parents must expand “the talk” to include sex tech.
KEY POINTS
- Sex tech is already shaping how young people learn and experience intimacy.
- Ignoring sex tech leaves kids vulnerable to misinformation, risk, and unrealistic expectations.
- Open, informed conversations help families set healthy boundaries and values for digital intimacy.
- The future of relationships will blend technology and human connection – kids need tools to navigate both.
For generations, “the talk” between parents and kids has been a rite of passage — sometimes awkward, sometimes overdue, but always important. Yet today, the landscape of sex and intimacy is being radically reshaped by technology. From AI-powered chatbots and virtual reality porn to app-connected sex toys and digital dating, sex tech is no longer science fiction. It’s a growing part of how young people learn about, explore, and experience intimacy.
Source: LightField Studios/Shutterstock
1. Sex Tech Is Already Here
Whether it’s sexting, smart vibrators, virtual reality experiences, or even sex robots, technology is already part of the sexual landscape. Teens and young adults have been turning to the internet, social media, and AI chatbots for answers to questions they’re too embarrassed to ask adults. Without guidance, many young people are left to navigate this world alone, often encountering misinformation, unrealistic expectations, and content that isn’t age-appropriate.
2. Ignoring Sex Tech Leaves Kids Vulnerable
If parents avoid talking about sex tech, they leave a vacuum that the internet, and sometimes predators, are all too happy to fill. When the main source of sex education is pornography or anonymous online content, young people are less likely to use contraception, more likely to internalize harmful stereotypes, and less prepared to handle real-life intimacy. Digital sex education tools, when evidence-based and interactive, can improve knowledge, confidence, and healthy decision-making among adolescents. But these tools work best when paired with honest, ongoing conversations at home.
3. Open Conversations Build Digital Literacy and Healthy Boundaries
Kids are growing up in a world where intimacy can happen through screens, apps, and devices as much as in person. They need help understanding not just the “how” of sex tech, but the “why” and “when.” What does consent look like when sharing intimate images? How do you know if a virtual relationship is safe or exploitative? What are the emotional risks of relying on technology for connection? By talking openly about sex tech, parents can help kids develop digital literacy, set boundaries, and make choices that align with their values-even as technology evolves. If you need more help preparing for these conversations, psychologist Debby Herbenick’s Yes Your Kid is a great place to start.
4. The Future of Intimacy Will Be Blended
Within 20 to 50 years, robots and AI companions could be a normal part of sexual exploration and even relationships for many people. Already, long-distance couples use haptic devices and VR to feel close. Some young adults identify as digisexual, seeing technology as integral to their sexual identity. The lines between physical and digital intimacy are blurring. If we want the next generation to build healthy, authentic relationships, we have no choice. We must give them the tools to navigate both worlds with empathy, self-respect, and critical thinking.
Why This Matters for the Future of Intimacy
The way we talk about sex with our children shapes how they approach relationships, boundaries, and self-worth for the rest of their lives. In a world where technology is rapidly changing what intimacy looks and feels like, silence is not an option. By including sex tech in “the talk,” parents empower their kids to make informed, ethical, and safe choices — online and offline. The future of intimacy will be a blend of human connection and digital possibility. Let’s give the next generation what they need to thrive in both.
References
Herbenick, D., Stone, S. C., & Supler, K. (2023). Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex. Dallas, TX: BenBella Books, Inc.
