Marianne Brandon Ph.D.
The Future of Intimacy
SEX
Will hentai, romantasy, and sex tech make us less satisfied with real human intimacy?
KEY POINTS
- Many millennials and Gen Z’ers are exploring superhuman passion in hentai, romantasy, and even sex tech.
- Digital worlds and early exposure to explicit content offer “beyond human” experiences.
- We may be risking the very magic of imperfect, human connection.
In the bedrooms and imaginations of millennials and Gen Z, a new kind of passion is taking hold — one that’s not just intense, but superhuman. Hentai (fantasy-based, animated pornography) and romantasy (romantic fantasy novels set in magical worlds) have exploded in popularity.
Source: Fizkes/Shutterstock
How Popular Are These Genres?
For millennials and Gen Z, these genres are not niche — they are dominant. “Hentai” was the most popular search term on Pornhub in 2023, with Gen Z (ages 18–24) being 392 percent more likely to view hentai than older age groups (Tyla, 2024). In the literary world, romantasy is the fastest-growing book genre in the United States, with a 42 percent sales increase from 2022 to 2023, and nearly a billion TikTok views under #Romantasy, driven largely by Gen Z readers (NPR, 2024).
Why Are We Chasing the Impossible?
This craving for the impossible didn’t appear out of nowhere. Millennials and Gen Z grew up in digital playgrounds — video games, immersive media, and online communities — where the boundaries of reality were always negotiable. In these spaces, you can be anyone, love anyone, and do anything. Psychologists have found that growing up with such limitless digital experiences can actually shape the brain, making us more imaginative and more hungry for novelty (Granic, Lobel, & Engels, 2014).
But there’s another layer: Many young people’s first encounters with intimacy and sexuality happened with porn online, often around age 13 — before they were ready. Perhaps that level of “reality,” at least for some young people, makes human sex less appealing. If that is the case, then fantasy may now provide a safe sexual haven. Here, desire could be explored without risk or shame, and every story could be rewritten to guarantee satisfaction.
Passion Beyond Human Limits — And the Cost
The result? Rather than dating, young people flock to their online intimate connections. And when it comes to romantasy, heavy consumption of fantasy-based romance can shape expectations — sometimes making ordinary relationships feel dull or disappointing. The idealized, magical love stories set impossible standards that real-life romance cannot meet. Anime, in contrast, is a complex and intense medium that often depicts themes such as trauma and raw emotional conflict, frequently presenting graphic and unsettling imagery that challenges viewers emotionally and intellectually — and does not resemble human sex.
But here’s where we’re playing with fire. When our most formative experiences of romance and sexuality are shaped by genres where everything is superhuman, it’s easy to start expecting that real-life partners should measure up. But, of course, no one can. It seems possible that heavy consumption of fantasy-based porn and romance can make ordinary relationships feel dull, even disappointing. The messiness of real intimacy — awkward conversations, vulnerability, and imperfection — can start to seem not just unappealing, but obsolete.
Sex Tech: The Next Evolution — Or the Final Straw?
If fantasy genres have set the bar impossibly high, sex tech is poised to raise it even further. Modern, ultra-intense sex toys that can be controlled by strangers, immersive VR porn, and augmented reality lovers are now delivering pleasure and connection that are not just better than real life — they’re designed to be. These technologies can simulate touch, create responsive virtual partners, and let users script every detail of their intimate experiences.
As this tech becomes more sophisticated, we may be inching toward a future where human lovers are less necessary for sexual or even emotional fulfillment. The ability to curate every aspect of one’s intimate life, free from the unpredictability and imperfection of real relationships, is both thrilling and deeply unsettling. Are we on the verge of making human love obsolete?
Reinventing Sexuality: Identity Without Limits
There’s another twist: Millennials and Gen Z are also the most likely generations to see sexuality and gender as fluid, inventing and expressing identities beyond traditional categories or even biology (Jones, 2024; Gallup, 2024). Hentai, romantasy, and sex tech are uniquely suited to this mindset. In these worlds, bodies and desires are infinitely customizable. Attraction isn’t limited by gender, anatomy, or social rules. For many, this is liberating — a way to explore, heal, and find community.
But the more our sexuality becomes a solo, customizable adventure, the less we may feel the need to negotiate, compromise, or grow with another real person. The risk is that we lose not just the pain of imperfection, but also the magic that only real, unpredictable, human connection can provide.
Playing With Fire: The Future of Intimacy
The more we chase superhuman passion — whether in fantasy or through technology — the more we may risk losing our appetite for the real thing. It’s a paradox: These innovations empower us to imagine, explore, and invent new forms of connection, but they also threaten to make us less satisfied with the imperfect, unpredictable, and deeply human experiences that real intimacy offers.
The challenge for millennials, Gen Z, and the generations to come will be to find balance: to enjoy the thrill of fantasy and the convenience of technology without losing sight of the power and healing that only real, human connection can provide. After all, while no one can live up to a superhuman lover, a magical soulmate, or a perfectly programmed device, there’s a unique kind of fulfillment that comes from loving — and being loved by — another imperfect, extraordinary human being.
References
Gallup. (2024, February 17). LGBT identification in U.S. rises to 7.6%. https://news.gallup.com/poll/611864/lgbt-identification.aspx
Jones, J. M. (2024, March 13). LGBT identification in U.S. ticks up to 7.6%. Gallup. https://news.gallup.com/poll/611864/lgbt-identification.aspx
NPR. (2024, July 9). The Writers’ Room: Flying High And Loving Deeply With Romantasy. https://www.npr.org/2024/07/09/1198912356/1a-07-09-2024
Tyla. (2024, December 12). Pornhub reveals huge difference in what Gen Z search compared to Boomers. https://www.tyla.com/life/sex-and-relationships/pornhub-year-in-review-gen-z-919727-20241212
Granic, I., Lobel, A., & Engels, R. C. M. E. (2014). The benefits of playing video games. American Psychologist, 69(1), 66–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0034857
